Day Three: Opinions about drugs and alcohol

In high school, they were the cool kids.  They hung out in the concrete area in the back of the school, near the tennis courts, earning them the nickname "The Backlotters."  You know who I'm talking about.  The kids that snuck cigarettes almost out in the open.  The ones who didn't care about making their teachers mad.  The kids who weren't afraid of getting in trouble.  Even if you didn't admire their tactics, you had to admire their chutzpah.
But then, the Backlotters that you started freshman year were not as numerous.  Some dropped out, some had gotten in enough trouble to get kicked out, some parents sent their kids to rehab or boot camp.  A few hung on until graduation, but the ranks were severely diminished.
I would never imply that smoking cigarettes leads to a life of doped-up crime, but having a penchant for breaking rules rarely helps to endear one to authority.  The kids in the backlot rarely were given the benefit of the doubt by teachers.  They were usually guilty until proven innocent, and that is tough for kids.  Choosing to rebel, which is fun, leads to getting into trouble that sometimes you haven't earned, which is less fun.
As a mom, I talk to my kids about drugs and alcohol a lot.  I tell them that lots of kids experiment and lots of kids can try drugs and be fine.  They can try it and move on and never have the desire to try it again.  But some people can't.  Some people will find that when they try something, they want it more and more and they are not able to control that on their own.  I tell them that they don't know which kid they are until that happens, so the safest route is to just never try something that could hurt them.  My oldest is 10, so this logic totally suffices for now.
As my kids get older, the conversation will change.  I can tell them about the kids that used drugs when I was in high school.  I can tell them about how many of them blew out of high school, how the decisions that they made as 14 year olds affected them for the rest of their lives.  I can tell them about how if a "good kid" accused them of cheating, those kids would be suspended, even without proof.  I can tell them that I cannot control their choices, but I want them to realize that sometimes small choices lead to big choices.  Sometimes you start walking down a path and you meander along for a while, and then realize that you are not headed in the direction that you want to go at all.  Then you have to scramble and find your way back to the fork in the road and that can be impossible.
I don't know what I would be writing if it were ten years in the future and I am embroiled in the teenage years.  Do my children listen to my opinions?  Will my voice be like Jiminy Cricket and guide them through tough decisions, even when I am not there?  Will they know who they are in a way that makes drugs less appealing?  I hope so.  Until then (and let's be honest, always), I will keep that conversation open and hope that they can find some truth in it.